Like asphalt for assholes.

This past weekend we went on a family ride. The ride was great. The cold, cold rain was not so great. Below you might notice the ominous clouds or perhaps the encroaching snow line. This is the, “Here we go!” shot. Teeth a chatter with freezing precipitation…or was it anticipation? Who knows…potato pofuckingshitato it’s cold…am I right or am I right? The crew: my father, Uncle Tom, my sister, a not so young version of myself, and my Boomer Sooner pant wearing bride.

We stumbled upon a rival gang deep in the Hyak Tunnel and stopped to kick their collective asses. It was bad ass. Total darkness has its perks and disadvantages…like the time when Elyse landed a ball buster exactly where one might think it was intended to land…except on me! I still get a touch nauseous thinking about it. She said it was an accident…at least that’s what she said to me.

We made it through the tunnel!!!

It was a re-birthing for us all. Er…

Here’s the view after we completed the first third of our journey. It’s raining by now and super-duper crazy cold. There weren’t many pictures of the ride from here on. It was too cold. It was about this time when I found myself smack dab in the middle of shake down awesomeness. It was so awesome that I haven’t been able to shake it sense. Every ride seems to bring about some issue about equipment, nutrition, clothing, or technique.

This ride had to do with my legs (insulated legs that fit similarly to a garter belt) and the fact that I am much smaller now than I was when I bought them. I was wearing them beneath my jeans – not an ideal cold/wet weather clothing option. The ride was about 4x longer than I had anticipated…I’m sure I got the right information and lost it in the haze.

Elyse had her own technical issues. In mighty Ray fashion, these issues weren’t identified until I was putting away her bike after all was said and done. She had 2 (TWO!!!) flats. The front tire had a valve stem tear, while the rear tire was a puncture wound. I’m sure someone would’ve noticed if we were on pavement…alas, our journey took us on a trail. A kick ass trail to be sure!

Holy shit! Just look what awaited us back at our starting point…snow! And a couple of inches at that. My father is getting his phone ready to take a picture of my feet in flip-flops while Uncle Tom was retrieving a ticket from his snow laden windshield.

Here’s Uncle Tom reading said ticket…no discovery pass in the window. Dragsville supreme.

Not cold, nor flat tires…not wet legs, nor crazy dark tunnel…not rain, nor snow…not tickets, nor lack of tickets…none of these things kept us from having a great time. That’s good stuff.



3 responses to “Like asphalt for assholes.

  1. Pingback: She loves a good Grambear – Aqaurium Adventures | Beware the Under Dad·

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